The Hidden Wound Survivors Carry That No One Talks About

3 days ago

3 min read

⚠️ Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Trauma, Gender-Based Violence. Please take care while reading. Pause or step away if needed.

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Why Disbelief Hurts More Than the Assault Itself

A trauma-informed reflection on what survivors carry — and why we must do better.

Sexual assault is not only a personal trauma. It is a cultural and systemic one.

In the U.S., 1 in 3 women will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime. These are not isolated incidents; they’re part of a long history of patriarchy, power, and the normalization of male entitlement to women’s bodies.

And yet, as devastating as the assault itself is, what often causes the deepest wound is the response survivors receive afterward.

Two people sitting closely on a black couch, wearing white and brown tops. They hold hands, conveying a supportive, comforting mood.

As Dr. Gabor Maté (Licensed Physician and Addiction Specialist) teaches, trauma isn’t the event — trauma is the internal injury that occurs when we’re left alone, unsupported, or disbelieved. For many survivors, that disbelief, minimization, or outright denial can be more damaging than the assault.

We live in a world where women’s pain is doubted, where their trauma is questioned, and where powerful men are protected far more aggressively than the women they’ve harmed. Every time a survivor is silenced or dismissed, the trauma is reinforced. Every time a perpetrator faces no consequences, the message echoes: Women’s safety is optional.

Healing begins where this cycle breaks:

With belief. With validation. With someone saying, “I’m here. I believe you. It wasn’t your fault.”

A Trauma-Informed Lens: Gabor Maté’s Framework

Gabor Maté is clear:

Trauma is not the assault itself.
Trauma is the internal disconnection formed when we’re forced to face overwhelming pain alone.
Trauma is what happens when there is no witness, no support, no belief.
Trauma is the silence imposed on survivors.
Trauma is the world saying, “We don’t believe you.”

Survivors don’t just need therapy, they need community, compassion, safety, and belief.

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Reflection for Readers

If you'd like to explore your own healing around boundary violations, self-trust, or moments when your voice wasn’t heard, journal on these prompts:

Where in my life have I felt dismissed or disbelieved when I shared something painful?
How did that experience impact my sense of safety or self-worth?
What sensations arise in my body when I imagine being fully believed, supported, and validated?
What truth of mine am I ready to reclaim today?
Where in my life am I still settling for minimization, dismissal, or emotional neglect?

Take your time. There’s no right or wrong way to reflect.

Four women stand together outdoors, arms linked, with a sign reading "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" above them. Background shows trees and sunset.

If This Resonated With You…

If you’ve ever:

questioned your own intuition
minimized your pain
felt unheard or invalidated
stayed silent because you feared you wouldn’t be believed
stayed in relationships where your emotional safety was not prioritized

You are not alone. And you deserve better.

If someone in your life needs to hear this, please share this post.

We heal together when we’re no longer alone with the truth.

If you want ongoing support, deeper conversations about healing, and a community rooted in compassion and empowerment, you’re welcome to join my weekly newsletter.

It’s a space where we talk about:

trauma and healing
self-worth
boundaries
relationships
emotional safety
the cultural pressures women carry
and the real work of reclaiming your voice

If you’d like to be part of that community, you can join here:

👉 https://empowered-minds-mental-health-counseling-pllc.kit.com/dfa4bab288

Resources for Survivors

If you or someone you love has experienced sexual assault, harassment, or trauma, you are not alone. Support is available 24/7 — confidential, compassionate, and free.