The Growth No One Claps For

The growth you'll never get applauded for is the growth that matters most.

Solitude- woman watching sunset

"Although I recognize my worth, I am not sure other people in my life see it."

A member of our group shared this recently, and it stopped me in my tracks. I resonated with it deeply.

Years ago, I did so much inner work to heal my trauma. I spent countless hours in therapy, introspecting- hours reading all the self-help books, and doing all the correlated exercises- not only recognizing the parts of my childhood that had shaped me, but learning to tend to those wounds so they no longer carried the same weight in my adult life. I felt lighter, warmer, more open and compassionate toward the world. I was no longer depressed, no longer weighed down by that dark cloud of self-doubt and victimhood.

But one day, while giving my brother the basics of "I did a lot of healing," he responded, "I don't see any difference. You seem the same to me."

He didn't mean it to be cruel. But it took the wind out of my sails. I felt defeated, almost ashamed, like I had no right to celebrate my own mental health wins.

In that moment, I realized something: overcoming mental health challenges and healing childhood wounds will never be as visible, nor get the same credit, as graduating with a doctorate. Unless you wear a headband that says "I battled anxiety and won," you won't get the applause, the certificate, or the celebratory party women get when they get pregnant or engaged. Society doesn't value this kind of work the same way, even though I believe it's far more monumental than a new job, a marriage, or even having children.

Facing and overcoming the emotional wounds that haunt us at a subconscious level, the ones that quietly dictate how we move through the world, is one of the bravest things you will ever do.

But you may not get the credit for it. There's no party, no candles, no song and dance.

Your reward is quieter than that. It's the mindful moment you feel watching the sunrise. The contentment, or even the silence of your mind, as you lay your head on your pillow at night. It's the compassionate moment you share with a complete stranger, someone whose culture is drastically different from your own, one you may have even carried prejudice against at some point. Please don't underestimate those moments. Please don't ever question your growth.

You've heard the saying: "People will only meet you as far as they're willing to meet themselves." It's true, and what it means is that you have evolved past a lot of people. And that's okay. True growth doesn't need a standing ovation.

It's natural to crave external validation, but please know this: your acknowledgment of your worth is contingent on one thing, and one thing only. You.

The beliefs we once carried about ourselves were wrongfully placed on us in the first place. But we chose to accept them. Now, we are taking our power back and choosing our own identity.

Say it proudly to yourself: "I am worthy." And no one in this world can ever take that from you.

If this resonated with you, come talk about it with women who get it. Join the Worthy & Whole Facebook group, this is exactly the kind of conversation we're having there.

👉 [Join the Facebook Group here]