Why Trump's Election Shattered Women—But Some People Don't Even Care

When I woke up on Wednesday, November 6th, 2024, to the election results, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I didn't just cry—I wailed, with a long, drawn-out 'noooooooo' escaping me. I immediately called my partner, who was also awake at 6 a.m., and through my tears, I asked, 'What is happening!!?' He replied quietly, 'I don’t know.’

The sorrow I felt ran through me, deep in my bones, as though the weight of all the generational trauma carried by the women before me had settled into this despair. He was just as distraught as I was, even being a man. He validated my feelings by stating “I just can’t imagine watching my rapist get elected as our President”.

Most of the women in my social network leaned on each other that day. We shared our tears, panic, anger, confusion and disgust over our new reality and processed how we would move forward. Some of us got together that day as it seemed impossible to face the world.

Being a therapist, my job is to be a stable and strong anchor for my patients, and I couldn’t face them, some of which have histories of sexual assault; and affirm the reality; that once again justice was not served. Instead, I took the day to process my grief, and I tried to shift to a place of curiosity rather than wallow in the anger and injustice I was feeling. I refused to give my power away and be put in the category of the “man hating feminist”. I will repeat it over and over: We do not hate men. We detest the patriarchy and other systems of oppression that have historically turned a blind eye to the abuse against women that we and our predecessors have suffered.  You can either engage in these discussions or you can pretend they don’t exist. Both my personal journey and my professional role forces me to remain an advocate for social justice for women’s rights.

Sexual assault remains a significant public health and social issue in the United States. So, although my passion is rooted in emotions and personal experiences, here are some key statistics based on the most recent data available:

According to the 2020 National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) and other reports; 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men will experience an attempted or completed sexual assault in their lifetime. About 43% of victims of sexual assault are under the age of 18. Around 80% of victims are female, and 20% are male. The vast majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. 80% of rapes are perpetrated by acquaintances, and 53% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by a current or former partner.

When I started my career as a therapist, I did not intend on becoming a trauma therapist, however the necessity became apparent with the years I witnessed so many young women come into my office and discuss their stories of sexual assault. It further broke my heart when I realized that most of the time, they didn’t even have the language or awareness to label it what it was: Assault, or often downplayed it. It sounded more like “I hooked up with a guy even though I really didn’t want to, but I felt like I had to” or “he took my hand and placed it on his penis”.

It became apparent to me that so many women, including myself have been acquiescing to sex with men, not only due to physical force, but by psychological coercion. The more experienced I became in my work, the more confident I also became in calling it out when I saw it. The words “You were assaulted” felt so daunting to say as I watched my patients’ eyes well with tears as I had just affirmed a very disturbing reality for them. But it is necessary for us all to hear and acknowledge. I’ll never forget the moment my therapist affirmed for me “Randi you were physically abused and that is not normal”, during one of our first sessions. The words hit me like a brick as I sat there telling her my story of my childhood and how “normal” I thought it was. I needed, as my patients and many women need, to hear that despite centuries of abuse, and oppression against women; sexual, physical, emotional and psychological coercion or abuse is not okay.

DENIAL:

I always say that “denial is a mother#cker” and I truly feel that since I can attest to this powerful and effective defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are a psychological tool that humans employ when difficult life experiences and subsequent emotions arise. Other forms are known as suppression, or repression, as the emotional experiences are too much for our psyche to handle so our mind shoves them down to an unconscious place to which we “forget” certain things have happened. I also have suppressed a lot of childhood memories and am often reminded of things by childhood friends to my surprise as I simply do not remember.

Denial takes form when we literally reject the truth of a reality despite the evidence being right in front of our faces. I utilized this tool quite often when I was in a very dysfunctional relationship with a drug addict for 13 years. I joke about the time he had cocaine dripping out of his nose and I still denied he was using, but this really happened!! Despite all my and his friends telling me what was going on, finding the remnants of cocaine and other prescription pills around the house, I remained in DENIAL about it.

Why you ask? Well because I simply couldn’t face the truth. I had just left my home where my mother’s addiction had devastated my entire adolescence and the fact that I sublimated my own codependent patterns into the next relationship with another person suffering from addiction was too much for my psyche to handle. If I had to face this reality, I had to make some major changes and I wasn’t strong enough. I felt this person was all I had and couldn’t fathom a path forward. Long story short, I did indeed face this reality after starting therapy and leaning on additional supports. It took years, but here I am, happy and healthy. A recovered codependent.

But enough about me. Needless to say, denial is a common and effective defense mechanism to protect ourselves from hard and scary truths.

Another astounding statistic is that only about 25% of sexual assaults are reported to law enforcement. 44% of victims seek support from a friend, family member, or healthcare professional rather than contacting authorities. We must acknowledge this and understand the why. Why don’t women, who have had their minds and bodies violated, scream from the rooftops when a man has done so? Because no one believes us. This is sad, but true. The number of disqualifiers such as “you probably drank too much” or “what were you wearing?” causes us further shame and is absurdly unfair. I always tell my patients “I don’t care if you are running around butt naked, drunk as a skunk, no one has the right to put their hands on your body”. The other thing that happens to women when we do report these horrific crimes is we are told to keep it to ourselves and never repeat it again. I have seen this with women who have told their parents about their abuse and their response is nothing short of implying we’re all going to pretend this never happened.

So, what do we do with this as women? Well, the short answer is we do what we are biologically and socially conditioned to do; we remain strong and persevere in our lives. But trust me when I say, the trauma lives within us. Victims of sexual assault are more likely to experience long-term effects, including mental health challenges such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

Survivors may also experience physical health issues such as sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or unintended pregnancies.

This also causes concerns with Roe V Wade being overturned which was proudly completed by Donald Trump and now left up to the individual states. We won’t get too much into political policies in this article, but to those who are unfazed by this and query in the most passive aggressive tone “what rights are women losing!?”- please refer to the bill that is presently trying to be passed by Republicans in the Supreme Court of Wisconsin. This bill 940.04 is an abortion ban from 1849 that is trying to be re-instated (meaning it existed during a time when the only people that had rights were white men who owned property). If re-instated, women will be forced to carry and give birth to a baby even if they were raped by a stranger on the street, the frat boy who bought them drinks, or even an uncle. Anyone who illegally aids in this abortion will be charged with a Class H felony. So let me re-iterate to the women who are apathetic to this reality: The men who are raping us are hardly ever held accountable, but we may be forced to carry their child or face a felony charge…. Just let that sink in before claiming that the Republican party “cares so much about the babies”. They care about the control over our bodies, but I don’t need to convince you of that.

Donald Trump was found liable of sexual assault against E. Jean Carroll in 2023 after a civil suit was claimed under the New York’s Survivor Act which temporarily suspended the statute of limitations for certain sexual assault cases. Although this alleged rape occurred over a decade prior, E. Jean Carrol sued for the sexual assault, the emotional damages, as well as the defamation of her character. This was after she initially publicly accused him of raping her in the dressing room of Bergdorf Goodman and he successfully delayed the trial by claiming that he was “acting under the official president capacity” when he denied the claims and defamed E. Jeans character, attempting to transfer the legal responsibility to the US government rather than Trump personally. Trump claimed the accusations were “fake news” (per usual) and denied the rape stating, “she isn’t my type”. One can deduce from that statement that he may have not raped her because he wasn’t attracted to her, yet if he was, maybe a different story? These are facts and his direct quotes that we all have access to. The federal jury found Trump liable for sexual abuse and defamation and awarded E. Jean Carroll $5 million in damages. 

Since then, multiple other women have come out and accused Donald Trump of sexual assault and his supporters remain in complete DENIAL. They must all be lying of course!

So, let’s assess this situation, as we know people can lie and make false accusations right? I mean we all remember when Donald Trump aided in the wrongful conviction of 5 young men of color with charges of sexual assault against a white woman in Central Park in 1989 despite no physical evidence. Donald Trump took out a full-page ad in four New York City newspapers (The New York Times, The New York Post, New York Daily News, and The New York Newsday) that called for the death penalty for the five teenage boys, who were then suspects, but had not yet been convicted. His ad quoted “Bring back the death penalty. Bring back our police!” and “I want to hate these muggers and murderers. They should be forced to suffer and die.” These men spent 5-13 years in prison before being exonerated when the true perpetrator confessed to the crime in 2002. Trump never apologized. This case speaks to the unconscious bias and inherent racism behind his actions, however that’s for another conversation, I digress.

In a recent conversation I had with a woman who openly supports Donald Trump, she confided in me that she had been sexually assaulted when she was a young girl. In the same conversation, in which I tried to explain to her my issues with the man who had been found guilty of assaulting a woman, she stated “but that was so many years ago. Why would she only come out now?” (suggesting her claims must have been fabricated.) I simply responded to her, “well you just disclosed to me for the first time in your life that you were sexually assaulted over 40+ years ago… should I question why it took you so long to speak up?”  She seemed to have understood the dissonance, but I’m not quite sure internalized her bias. I also understand how someone who has denied their own sexual trauma for most of their lives would remain in this place of complete denial and align with a powerful man who manipulatively claims to want to “protect all women whether they like it or not”. – another direct quote of DJT. This is an indirect trauma-bond.  A trauma bond is a psychological phenomenon where a person develops a strong, emotional attachment to an abuser or someone who causes them harm. Despite the abuse, the individual feels a sense of loyalty, dependency, or attachment to the person who is mistreating them. This bond is typically formed in situations of intense emotional or psychological abuse, where the victim's emotions are manipulated through a combination of love, fear, control, and intermittent positive reinforcement.

So while we can each decide whether or not to believe the multiple allegations against Donald Trump of sexual assault, (amongst the numerous other atrocious factors that make him in fact a bad person), you can also decipher the meaning behind the literal words that come out of his mouth.

As a trained therapist, we can often read between the lines so to speak. We are highly trained to analyze and interpret individuals’ words and actions. I, and many other psychologists, can suggest a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder for Donald Trump from many miles away. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. People with NPD often have an inflated sense of their own importance, believe they are superior to others, and expect special treatment or recognition. This disorder can impact relationships, work life, and overall functioning. It's considered a personality disorder, meaning it's part of an individual's long-term behavioral patterns rather than a temporary state. While obtaining my Master’s Degree in Forensic Psychology, we learned a lot about NPD and Anti-social Personality Disorder as they were most commonly found within the criminal justice population. Most often they are the infamous serial killers we are all bemused by. While NPD can present on a spectrum and no not all narcissists are bad people, Donald Trump falls into the category of malignant narcissism and is in fact a very dangerous man. Diagnostically speaking, you only need to meet 5/9 criteria, however he meets all 9. I’ll break it down:

An exaggerated sense of self-importance. Running for president with no political experience, yet a bachelor’s degree in economics. Every time the man speaks it is “I am the best at…” or “no one has ever done ____ like me….” Insert eye roll here!!

Pre-occupation with fantasies of success/power. His entire presidential campaign and attempts to dismantle the US Constitution. Believing they are special and unique and will only associate with other “elites” – again just listen to the words that come out of his mouth and the constant criticism and bullying of others.

Need For Excessive Admiration – again not necessary to explain besides, just watch him! If walking out to his rally to “It’s a Mans World” wasn’t enough…

Sense of Entitlement: - This is shown through his multitude of criminal acts with absolutely zero accountability. The man can do whatever he wants and no laws nor do social standards apply to him.

Interpersonally Exploitative: Well, this one here is for those loyalists. While an expert in doing so, he played you all. He successfully appealed to all your fears for his own personal gain to win his power back. He and his campaign strategically distracted you with lies and misinformation cultivating an “us vs. them” mentality. He demonized groups based on religion, race, gender, and lifestyle. The constant focus on cultural and social issues served as a distraction from the economic policies that were benefiting the wealthy. By constantly keeping the nation embroiled in debates over issues like immigration, political correctness, and identity, the Trump administration diverted attention from the policies that actually widened wealth inequality. All the while, Corporate America and the ultra-rich have been growing more powerful. This has been the same playbook since the 1800’s and during the civil war. Divide and Conquer. “The Psychology of Patriotism, the lure of adventure, the aura of moral crusade created by political leaders, worked effectively to dim class resentments against the rich and powerful, and turn much of the anger against “the enemy”- Edmund Wilson in Patriotic Gore.

This is the brainwashing we have been warning you about. Believe me when I say, narcissists DO not care about you, nor does Donald Trump care about the American people.

Envy of others or beliefs people are envious of you. Eg: His constant belittling of others and claims that people are making up all these accusations in an attempt to take him down. Donald, this is not jealousy, this is justice.

Arrogance. This one I really shouldn’t have to explain, but the man is a bully. Every single person that he comes across has faced criticism, from labeling Mexicans as “criminals and rapists” to claiming all Black people are “lazy”. He disparaged war veterans and calls his contemporaries wives “ugly”. He makes fun of disabled individuals, and the list goes on….

 In 2016, right before being elected as the U.S president, Donald Trump, the man millions of people worship and women revere, said to Billy Bush before an official interview on Access Hollywood. “When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. I'm automatically attracted to beautiful, I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the p****. You can do anything” Furthermore, the man did in fact act on his entitlement to objectify women by walking in to the dressing rooms where the contestants, some of which were 15 years old were changing their clothes. He stated in the aforementioned interview “I’ve seen [contestants] in a lot of states. And I’ll tell you, some of them are in the dressing room, and they don’t even wear clothes. You know, they’re getting dressed, and I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant .”  I would be very eager to hear why people are so up in arms about a trans woman (less than 1% of our population) walking into a bathroom stall, using it, washing their hands and leaving; as a terrifying thought, but have no issue with Trumps inappropriate behavior.

The defenses we have heard by both men and women in response to this as “he didn’t know the mic was on”, and “all men talk like this” are vastly responsible for the continual and disgraceful abuse against women. True integrity is what you say when you think no one else is listening. This man is telling us exactly who he is and the majority of Americans REFUSE TO SEE IT.

Besides the other flagrant assertions of Donald Trump’s misogyny, such as the fact that we have never heard him use any other adjective to describe women besides “beautiful” or “ugly”- (oh I’m sorry unless he’s claiming how “dumb” we are)- his administration is also pushing to further revoke women’s rights to our own bodies. The man speaks about being sexually attracted to his own daughter, and boldly claims how much he “loves women”. OH, let’s not forget his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein- another convicted sex offender. 

Dear my very naïve Trump supporting women: This man does not value or respect women outside of our sexual objectivity and I would be very weary of the men in your life that proudly support him.

If you don’t believe me you can research for yourself all the emboldened narcissistic men out there who are perpetuating the trending “your body, my choice” emboldened by the election outcome. And before you defend that by claiming those are not Trump’s beliefs or influence, be aware that the man who originated this content, Nick Fuentes, was invited to and sat down at Donald Trump’s dinner table in 2021. The “Manosphere” that has invigorated the masses of toxic masculinity where we are being told “to get back into the kitchen” has increased significantly since this man and his followers all excused this behavior when they voted him into office. When your little girls come home from school claiming the boys are saying these things to them (hopefully that’s the least of it), do not be surprised. We are all susceptible to the media’s influence and the right wing has much more of it.

So, if you are still confused about why so many women are outraged by Donald Trump being elected; I want you to imagine your body being violated by a man, who is never held accountable and then you must watch millions of people (some of which you thought you could trust) celebrate as he gets elected as our president. We all just had to sit there and watch as the nation silenced the cries of all sexual assault victims. This is psychological torture.

Some of you remain in denial about this man and have been psychologically manipulated by the most brilliant of malignant narcissists I have ever seen. And some of you have yet to access your voice and power as a woman. You are simply assuaging your male partners who are either in denial as well, or even worse they align with these beliefs about women. You can hold on to the “we voted with our wallets” line, but let’s not pretend he is a good leader or representative for any human being.  Also, have you researched his economic policies and what economists are saying about them? The gaslighting has worked on you, but don’t dare push it onto us. Our healing has allowed us the ability to face our truths, honor those emotions and embody our strength to navigate this world we live in when men remain in power and are increasingly emboldened to exploit it. Do not tell us we are being sensitive, or dramatic. The weakness you are trying to project onto us is becoming evident.

I don’t mean for this to be an attack on women who support Donald Trump. However, I recognize that what triggers us often shines a light on parts of ourselves that may still need healing. If you feel this article resonates with you, I welcome the conversation. I hope that as you read, something within you might feel the urge to defend your position, because that very impulse often points to underlying doubts. When you're ready, ladies, we’re here with open arms. Our women’s communities are always meant to be a safe space for you to come to.

We will never give up because the fight is far from over. The battles we face are not just about securing rights that have been fought for in the past, but about ensuring future generations of women can live without the constraints of discrimination, violence, or inequality. We stand together—united by our strength, our resilience, and our determination to create a world where every woman’s voice is heard, respected, and valued

Written by Randi Corrigan, MA, LMHC