3 Things You Can Do Right Now to Attract Healthier Love

If you’ve spent years chasing emotionally unavailable men, over-giving in relationships, or settling for crumbs because you’re afraid of losing someone… you’re not alone.

Healthy love isn’t just about who you choose — it’s about who you become in the process. The woman who attracts emotionally available, stable, loving partners isn’t “luckier”… She simply has the internal foundation that magnetizes that level of love.

Here are three things you can start doing today to shift your self-worth, your energy, and your standards — and begin attracting the kind of love that actually feels good.

1. Stop Justifying Red Flags

Women who settle often become experts at explaining away behavior that hurts them. “He’s just busy.” “He’s not ready for a relationship.” “He has trauma.”

But emotionally available men show interest, effort, and consistency. You don’t have to decode mixed signals when someone is serious about you.

Try this: When you feel the urge to justify someone’s inconsistent behavior, pause and ask:

“If my best friend told me this story, what advice would I give her?”

Sometimes the clarity you can’t give yourself becomes obvious when you step outside the situation.

2. Start Saying “No” From Your Worth, Not Your Fear

Attracting healthy love requires boundaries — not the rigid kind, but the grounded kind.

Most women who settle say “yes” because they’re afraid:

 • afraid of rejection 

• afraid of being alone 

• afraid of being “too much”

Healthy love requires the opposite: Clear boundaries, spoken with calm confidence.

Try this: Practice one small “no” today. “No, I can’t do that today.” “No, that doesn’t work for me.” “No, I’m not comfortable with that.”

Every time you honor your truth, you teach your nervous system,

“My needs matter.”

And that is magnetic.

3. Raise Your Standards — and Stick to Them

Most women know what they want, but they don’t follow through on what they deserve.

So they: 

• accept half-effort 

• settle for “situationships” 

• tolerate the bare minimum

Healthy love starts when you decide: “I don’t chase. I don’t beg. I don’t settle.”

Try this: Write down your three non-negotiables. Not the cute stuff like “must like dogs”… but the real stuff: 

• emotional availability 

• honesty 

• consistency 

• communication 

• respect

Then — here’s the hard part — don’t override them for chemistry, loneliness, or fantasy.

When you hold your standards, you filter out the men who can’t meet you… and make space for the ones who can.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to “fix yourself” to deserve healthy love. You just have to stop abandoning yourself in the process of trying to be chosen.

These three shifts — clarity, boundaries, and standards — create the foundation that allows healthy love to actually show up and stay.

And if you're ready to go deeper, my new program No More Settling: A Program for Finding Healthy Love is coming soon. Join my Newsletter for updates, tools, and early access. 💛 https://empowered-minds-mental-health-counseling-pllc.kit.com/dfa4bab288